Christmas Time Humor

Here are a couple of stories that are intended to bring a smile to your face. It’s that time of year after all. Consider it just another service of CreditPowers.

I’m told this really happened, but I cannot claim certainty because it did not happen to me.
A credit manager I know was trying to collect a large balance from a contractor. The delinquent contractor begged for more time, promising to pay as soon as the insurance company paid the claim. Naturally, the credit manager assumed that the contractor was involved in repair work, possibly the result of a fire. He knew these things took time and he was confident the customer would pay and as soon as the claim was paid. Each month the credit manager checked in with his customer and each month the contractor complained about the sluggishness of the insurance company. Finally, exasperated, the credit manager insisted on more verification of the claim. Just as exasperated, explaining why the insurance company was not paying, the contractor blurted, “The bitch won’t die!”

This actually happened to me. It may not be a funny story, but it stumped me. A remodeling contractor owed about $500. Because of its size I was not very aggressive in my collection efforts. I sent out a series of routine collection letters and when no payment arrived after about sixty days, I called. The contractor’s wife handled the books and when I asked for payment she told me, without hesitation that: their daughter had been kidnapped and they were forced to mortgage the house to pay the ransom and there was no money left to pay the bills. I couldn’t take any chances that she might be telling the truth, so I wrote off the balance.

You may have heard this one yourself. A customer way over his credit line complains that he cannot pay and that it’s your fault for letting him charge so much.

This is humorous though sad but true. A company I know had its Sacramento office as the remittance address, but local branch personnel were required to make the initial collection calls. A particular customer was on credit hold for non-payment. To prove to the local City of Carson credit clerk that payment had been made, the customer faxed a copy of the check to the local clerk. The locals believed the Sacramento office was either very behind in posting payments, or they had lost the check. As a result, they stopped calling the customer for payment and continued to release orders. When the collection cycle came around again and the local clerk saw the same balance, another inquiry was made and once again the customer faxed over a copy of the check. You guessed it; the customer never actually mailed a real check to Sacramento. He was simply sending the local store a fax copy to keep the account open.

Under the category of pulling your hair out, we caught an obvious mistake early enough to notify the customer and let him know we were already working to fix the problem. A customer had purchased one fifteen hundred gallon water heater, but the billing clerk read the receiver wrong and billed the customer for fifteen hundred water heaters. We were pleased that we were able to contact the customer before he called us and we sent the billing back to accounting, where they billed the customer for fifteen hundred water heaters a second time.

Finally, under the category of true Christmas giving: a large plywood company sold to a Japanese company and the credit manager arranged for payment with a letter of credit. When the shipment was completed, the credit manager went directly to the bank to pick up the check as it was in excess of one million dollars. He announced who he was and the clerk at the bank promptly made out a cashiers check in the amount of one million dollars plus. However, rather than make the check payable to the plywood company, the bank clerk mistakenly made it payable to the credit manager. He says, he spent an hour in his car, reviewing all of his options and decided, it was not worth it and he returned the check and replaced it with a corrected one.

I’d love to hear your stories.

Merry Christmas!